Saturday, July 24, 2010

Why is it so difficult?

Some sayings/ proverbs become self explanatory with time, atleast that has been my personal experience. There are certain proverbs that never made sense for the high dose of 'gyaan' imbibed in its meaning, however the true meaning has panned out to be simple yet powerful. I am one of those creatures that is always looking out for change and the 'next thing to do'. If the previous statement even remotely indicates that I am too energetic/ proactive - I guess you blame it on your comprehension/ the language or both. Having set that context in place, I never like stagnation/ same state for too long. So during the madness of the cover review preparation and the reasons for performance/ non-performance I was eagerly looking forward to July 22. I knew I would be free of all meetings/ motivational speeches/ reviews by then, and I could relax for a change. July 22 arrived with the huge sense of satisfaction/ relief for the fortnight gone by and the quarter at large. The trouble started however on July 22. Now I had more free time, I could catch up on all the things I consciously/ unconsciously missed/ postponed during the past fortnight. The free time also meant lot of varied thoughts circling within me about - What Next? This thought is not about the next challenge/ task that I want to excel in. It is more about what next in life - some tough decisions to make. I have reached a stage where I do not know what is the right thing to do. Forget the 'right thing', I do not know what I need to do in order to answer some questions that will stop the 'circling around' a bit. Here I ask myself - Why is it so difficult? What makes it so difficult? Is it the expectation on the desired result or the fear of the unwanted turnaround in the steady state. I know its ironical that the steady state triggered this entire situation but now somehow one solution seems to point towards maintaining the steady state. No wonder the proverb read - An idle mind is a devil's workshop!


Kavity said...

The ideal way to avoid this kind of situation would be to actually think about everything when there is work also. I don't know how effective it is in general, but for me it works like a charm. Since I always keep thinking about many things, when am vela, the importance I give to things does not change dramatically. So am eternally confused or irritated or worked up along with being busy.
And, there is no 'right thing' I guess. There are only right rationalizations. We might actually end up doing two diametrically opposite things at different points in time and rationalize brilliantly in favor of both.
And, yeah, please to be blogging more. When you are buy, you should blog more actually. It is an amazing thing. Try once!

Raj said...

Idle mind.....when was your's idle???? The word idle is always replaced by contemplate, wonder, ideate, ponder and blah.....I know how it short stint in Compliance made me idle more because my team members were very responsible...I ran back to Regulatory because the mind needs work out else it gets keep it still cant be idle....nah...not you.